Oct. 16th, 2014

My inability to complete my commitment to write a daily journal is due to stupid stuff, really. I've dipped into a psychic oblivion by doing mindless housekeeping on my computer which is about to crash. For some, watching T.V. is an escape. For me, computer tech discoveries are mine.

It is a numbing experience playing with Microsoft, then with Dropbox, then moving to Wordpress, reading Narrative Magazine, dreaming that one day I will write like that. But after a journey onto Facebook I knew I'd found madness avoiding what I promised.

That is when I awoke. However, by rewriting my short story pieces on Dropbox, those pieces that meant a lot when first produced, after a second look or a third, I become frightened or revolted. Oh, oh the sirens are going off in my head screaming the long ago refrain that I don't know what I am doing.

Except it is a sure fire way to get me started. By reading something inspiring, it kicks me in the butt to do it myself. When I hear myself whine, I can't. I recall the little engine that could from my childhood, which When chanted, I think I can, I think I can. I CAN!

I'm delving into childhood memories now. Lovely, it keeps me seated in the chair.

Alone I sit, writing for myself, one finger dancing as fast as it can, ready to jump away, like a jack in the box. Reminds me that now most children these days don't know that a jack in the box was once a child's toy that when pressed, would fly out of the box, and surprise us with its cackle voice, as it emitted a strange laugh. Once we were able to stuff it back inside its box, we'd press it down again, enchanted by the thrill of its leap into the air, and it's laughter. Years later, jack in the box became a hamburger joint with a clown creature as it's logo.

Now I think I can come back to that one story I like and approach it with a fresh appeal.

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nyla_musings

March 2015

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